This is long, but if you have ever realized your life has changed without you even recognizing it, you may have empathy
Mickie and I had an entertaining ride home from school yesterday when I realized all these things.
Disclaimer: The following story uses a fictional day to portray real events.
I woke up late, quickly finding whatever source of clothing which would facilitate my needs of getting dressed the fastest. Only I forgot the clothes police was now waking up to ask the famous question. Are you really going to wear that? Her quizzical look told me she didn’t like the un-ironed shirt I pulled from the supposed clean pile of laundry, the mismatched socks, and pants which I have had since my mission. I bought the pants back when my waist was about two inches lower, so now that I wear my pants around the truly created waist, they avoid any shoe contact and hover around the high ankle. But in order to avoid any further looks of unbelief, I quickly respond as confident as possible, “Yep,” and B-line it for the exit. At work, it can be fairly exhausting talking to people who, I’m not sure how they function from day to day, yet they insist our math is wrong and they “deserve” more retirement money. So, when lunch break comes it should be such a relief. I usually do homework or work out at lunch so it can be quite interesting when I do join the others in the lunch room. I find myself sitting alone at a table and watching 8-10 co-workers crowd around one table. I think to myself, “you know those tables should have a maximum occupancy of 6 people, I see a potential danger for fire hazards. Also, I wish they would stop taking chairs from my table, where are my pretend friends are supposed to sit.” Work continues on and soon it’s time for school. I try to get to the campus a.s.a.p. but traffic must be filled with blind and deaf people, because the light is green, I’m yelling at the car in front of me to go, yet, we still sit there. I finally get to school late and now I’m on a dead sprint in my wrinkled shirt and tie, and I can feel my high water pants brushing my shins. If that’s not embarrassing enough all the sudden my strap breaks on my back pack. I dare any of you to try looking cool walking into class late, shirt halfway un-tucked, wearing one strap and holding the other. And that’s when I realize, life is great right now, I’m just glad I don’t have kids to constantly remind me of how un-cool I am.
These are all things I have recognized in the last week. My wife gets a kick out of it; I just don’t know how to slow it down. I’m sure I’m on life’s natural course to getting old, but if someone could give me a heads up on, at what age socks and sandals becomes fashionable, I think I might be better off preparing for that now. Nate and Harvey I’m sure you feel my pain.
Editor Mickie's Note: I want to let you all know this is not because I am unwilling to buy Matt new slacks and make sure his shirts are ironed, he just hates shopping and gets dressed so fast in the mornings that he wont let me "help" him pick out proper attire.
12 comments:
OK, it took a re-read, but it got me laughing out loud. The lunch-table situtation was hilarious. Dressing for the day definitely isn't what it used to be. Pretty boring nowadays.
Matt your story was hilarious!!! But you got it wrong, when you have kids they think you're the coolest person around! :-) Isn't growing older so much fun?
Great post Matt! Yup, time to step it up buddy. I agree with the last comment - except if you do wear the socks and sandals, you're just asking for it then!
I love it. Matt your entries always make me laugh so hard. Hope your growing old goes well! And really you should let Mickey help, she always looks so put together, I let her dress me if she had the time.
Phew! Made it through it. I'll tell you, it is the hardest thing when everybody is taking naps except you and you read a story you just can't stop laughing at the whole way through. I'm trying to be quiet laughing, wipe the tears with the left sleeve, wipe the snot with the right sleeve, and keep reading through the wet eyes. It's a tough thing to do, but I did it! Great story. Matt, don't worry. Tanner is trying to follow the Spence kids dress code. His choice right now is amazingly colorful swim trunks over overalls. We'll get a pic soon.
The is one of the best posts I have read in a while...no offense to all the other bloggers, but I toally relate to this one...ok a year ago I relate. Except I do have the kid to tell me how out of date I am and she's 5! I can't say Michael would wear those clothes though. He's would never wear a wrinkled shirt but he would be late. So FUnny! I was laughing through out.
Love it Matt...you made me laugh. However I am getting old, but just do not care. My boys think I'm 'dorky' and that you are the 'cool ones'. LOVE YA!
OK, so I saw nothing funny about this story. It sounded normal to me. Did I miss something? Love ya, Dad
Hey, at least you have a nice cool breeze going up the pant leg when you've got high waters on. :)
Harvey just spent the last week in FL, let's see if he gets anymore comments about his socks and sandals. I hope we have broke him of that dressing style.
Goodness, that was an entertaining read.
I just read your post to Harvey Dean, after which he looked down at his black socks with his khaki shorts. And thinks maybe he should have some kids come home to "help" with his proper attire....;)
THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! Hahaha, you guys are so funny!
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