Hello and welcome to my little pity party and the epiphany that changed it, well a little.
Can I just tell you how SICK I am of being PREGNANT! Okay, I know a ton you have automatically tuned out. I would too if I were you. I try my darndest to keep it all inside but most of you that know me well, know how much I do NOT like being pregnant. It's 9 months of straight torture for me.
I have been pregnant 3 times in the last 4 years. Ty was born in 2009 and the 3rd comes in 2012... so if i'm not pregnant I have had a newborn in my arms or a baby on my hip. I wont lie to you, I don't mind the baby-toddler stages, in fact I quite enjoy them but the newborn stage I could do with out too. I KNOW a ton of you are TOTALLY lost now, "HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE NEWBORNS!!!" Well I love my OWN newborns of course, but I much more enjoy other stages and can't wait for the newborn stage to be over.
Which brings me to my pity party. All I can think about these days is what I can't do...
~I can't wear my normal cute summer clothes that I barely fit into LAST year after having had Maylee.
~I can't sleep, period. Every night is another battle. 2 of 7 nights I end up on the couch, another 3 nights I just toss and turn until 2 or 3 a.m. and then there are the sacred 2 nights a week that I actually sleep well. Not to mention I have two other children that have a radar for those good nights and ruin it with plenty of interruptions.
~I can't go running, oh running how I miss you... I dream of running again, fast, long, hard, dripping with sweat. OHHHH what a glorious day that will be! (If you remember last year I pushed myself too fast too hard after having Maylee and injured myself, taking myself out of all the races and goals I had for last summer)
~I can't bend over without an audible groan slipping out of my mouth.
~I can't fit into those cute swimsuits I bought off season preparing for this summer
I could go on and on and on with that whiny pants mode, those are just some top issues right now.
All I see are rain clouds raining on my ME parade. I just want ME back I want to do things for ME! ME ME ME!!!!
TY
MAYLEE
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| Image by Kelly Spence Photography |
Then I remember a few things about ME.
1. I am healthy and able to conceive (quite easily) and bear children relatively easily.
2. For the most part, the children I have are healthy too, not to mention adorable. (see above pictures)
3. I am able to be home with said adorable children and raise them in our home rather than try to do a full time job while being pregnant WHILE trying to take care of 2 others. READ: I can take a nap if I need it.
4. I am one of those superbly lucky women that don't get stretch marks on my stomach and I have the chance to get back that nice flat stomach that I had pre-babies.
5. If we want 4 children, I would only be pregnant for 160 weeks or 3 years. 3 years of my body to pregnancy, in order to have a lifetime of joy (and all that other fun stuff that comes along with raising a family) for eternity.
When I think of it that way I see parting clouds and bits of blue sky and sunshine. Yeah being pregnant is the pits, seems like all you runners out there running your races are wearing party hats and sticking out your tongue at me as you run by. But I KNOW there are other runners out there looking at me and our family thinking the exact same thing. We are wearing our party hats and sticking our tongues out at them, they wish they could even get pregnant and have ONE healthy child let alone have three.
So i'll just buck up and get through these next 10 weeks and another 40 weeks about 10 months or so after that. You can bet #4 will swiftly follow so I can be DONE with this production phase and on to the management phase as my aunt puts it.
Whenever I get stuck in the "UGH MY BODY AND LIFE HAVE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE!!!!" mode i'll just remember that I only have a little bit longer and be grateful that I am blessed with such fantastic children (I should add too, their awesome FATHER to help raise them after production phase) and a healthy body that can carry and bear them so well.

