I am in a terrible mood this morning, I tried and tried and tried times a million to help Ty with potty training. I KNOW he is ready and some days were good but yesterday and this morning were more then enough to call it quits.
Usually our mornings together are calm, peaceful and happy as we talk about what we have coming up in the day and he lies on my shoulder. This morning he crawled into bed with me and screamed at me for about 45 minutes before I just made him sit on the potty for a minute. He of course didn't go then proceeded to scream, hit, yell and basically act like a maniac for another 45 minutes. At my wits end I asked him if he wanted to put on one of Maylee's diapers. He said Yes so I put it on and that is the end of it.
I know he is ready, I just know it! He shows every sign in the book. I vowed that once I started this process I would go until he was trained but this whole thing was ruining my relationship with Ty. It took every ounce of power I had not to just scream back when he was screaming and hitting me because he wouldn't go. I am not a screamer and I am extremely patient with my kids. I did not try to force him up until last night and he sat there for over an hour with nary a drop. Then he got off and lost it for about and hour until he forgot about it then peed down his leg again. Thing is I never scolded him for having accidents I would just clean it up and kindly remind him to go in the potty, not in his underwear.
He is normally such a happy kid that it really ripped my heart out to see him so upset and it was making me even MORE upset.
I am truly disappointed in myself, not him. I just want to crawl in a hole. I wish I could just scream and cry and give up on this day.
Motherhood is so hard. My family and friends always say how they love it. I'll get there someday, but today I do no like it at all. One day I'll look back on this post and smile, probably when Ty calls me in 25 years asking how I potty trained him because his child is acting like a maniac. I'll just find this post and send it on over to him.
Now I know why every parent with boys say don't even bother thinking about potty training until they WANT to be. Okay i'll heed that advice and throw in the towel. He'll get it someday, even if it is in 1st grade.
9 comments:
Oh Mickie I am sorry that the whole process is so hard. I am extremely proud of you for lasting as long as you did! It sounds like you did a great job helping him in the whole process even though he did not want to participate. I think with a lot of kids it takes 2-3 training periods to fully get the whole thing. It is not a failier, it is a process. I bet next time you revisit the potty training thing it will go more smoothly.
And even though you don't want to... (Yes I have had many of these days. Motherhood can be really really crappy sometimes, that you just want to sit in a hole and cry.) go sit and read a few books with Ty. It really does help to soften your mood. Kids are so forgiving. You can get mad at them and the next minute they are snuggling with you. It always helps me at least :) Love you guys!
Sorry it has been rough. It is so hard to know what to expect and when they are ready. Better luck next time. You are definitely not a failure, that is for sure!
I suggest that you maybe wait a couple of weeks and then- use pullups for the day or underwear for an hour at a time. Maybe set a timer- and just reward him only for sitting on the potty. Just- sit on the potty- get a sticker or piece of candy. Help him to not look at the potty as a punishment by giving him a treat. Then take another break for a week or so, and do it again. It certainly isn't training in a day but it is training over time and with peace. It won't last forever- promise. I have such cute video of my firstborn on the potty reading books.
Oh- and try sitting by the potty to read a new book that he likes- and only read it there so if he wants to hear that book- go sit by the potty, and then try to get him to just sit for a second right before you read it- but don't make him sit there for any sort of time at first.
There is no one answer for any particular child- but if it is making life angry- I totally agree that diapers are better for a while.
Oh Mickie, you had such optimism at first that I SOOO wanted you to have a miracle experience. Alas, you had what seems to be the typical one. Seriously, do whatever keeps you sane. I have no PT tips because I don't think there are any sure-fire ones so just make sure to keep the family happy!
How long was it that Matt peed the bed??? :) Dallin has been potty trained for at least 6 mo, but keeps peeing in his pants and does not want to tell us. I'm right there with ya. Pretty frustrating, but Yes I think when they are ready they will do it...hopefully.
Don't be disappointed in yourself - you gave it an awesome try! And don't fret, he will be potty trained before 1st grade. ;) I felt the same with my 2 attempts with James, finally at 3 1/2 he was ready and Stephen taught him to pee standing up and it just happened - he was potty trained! It will happen with Ty eventually!
I read on your blog on the 5th day Ty went in the pot. Now two days later there's no patience? Children can tell when a parent is upset with them even if we don't speak. Our body language says we are yelling at them. He was just yelling back the only way he knew how. Did you start the day with prayer and pray for patience? Ty can't even speak yet and we want him to carry on a conversation. Did you snuggle with him and read the scriptures to him? These are your times as a parent to learn and grow not his. He just wants to be a little boy. How patient would you be if you knew he only had 6 months left on the earth? Would wet pants really be that big of a deal? Just love him and the rest will take take of itself. Love you, Dad
For the record... I told my son that his mission companions could change his diapers for all I cared! I was sure it would take that long! It felt like he was taking forever but when he brought it up several times then it really was easy! This is one of those agency things so no worries and you are not a failure!
Mickie, I thought I had it all figured out too, with the work I do, but boys are just tough. I think my daughter was trained before my son. I know there were days that I could have torn my hair out.
You are doing great. Be kind to yourself, as my mom always told me.
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